Tuesday, November 21, 2017

She's my MOM and she's CRAZY!!!!!

Well Hello World!
It's been a long time since I have posted! I have been super busy with work and life..... but I had a little down time this week, because of Thanksgiving, so I thought it was time to finally post all the crazy thoughts going through my head recently.



I'm just going to jump right into what has been bothering me for the last few weeks.....

So Ethan came home from school on Friday, about 2 weeks ago, and I could tell he had been crying. So I asked him what was up, and he said he has been getting bullied at school.
UMMMMM WHAT???????

Yeah, so apparently this girl, who is in his grade, has been teasing him.......

So I ask him what she said, his response killed me...
"She's making fun of me because she knows that you and daddy were drug addicts"
*literally felt like a knife to the heart*

I honestly sat there in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say to him.
After the initial shock, I asked him to tell me the story of how this came about.

He was at lunch and this girl was teasing one of his good friends. So Ethan, being the kind soul he is, asked her to stop being rude to his friend. So she turned on him. Some how she knew that Russ and I were addicts in recovery and started to say that we chose drugs over him and that's why he had to live with his grandma. She went on telling him how "sad" his life is and that he will probably have to move again because we were such bad parents.......

O M GOODNESS........ *seriously at this point in the story I was contemplating whether or not I could afford another charge on my record.... is punching a 5th grader a felony?*

She proceeded to make fun of him, and then told him that she was going to tell everyone his "families secret."

So he's sobbing to me, "I'm sorry mom, I don't know how she found out."

WHAT THE CRAP!!!!!! How do I respond to this? My kid is getting made fun of for something I DID...... he's just the innocent party in this whole situation. This is the only thing I could think of to say..... I hope I said the right thing.

This was my response
"Ethan, its not a secret that your dad and I did drugs. I never want it to be a secret, do you know why?"
He asked why?
I told him that not very many kids who are in the situation that he and Izzi were in, get to go live back with their parents. I told him that he should be proud that his dad and I worked so dang hard to get them back. He was that special that his father and I are beating a disease to get him back. How many kids can say that?

Ethan starts sobbing more, and runs to me and tells me he loves me....and now I'm sobbing as well......
So I told him that if she goes at him again, to keep his head up high and say "yeah my parents were addicts, and they did what most addicts cant do. They are beating their disease and got us back"

The title of the post..... So funny. This is how awesome my son is.....
We were watching Stranger Things, *SPOILER ALERT* and the part were 11 saves mike from the cliff jump.... and the toothless kids yells to the bullies "That's right, she's our Friend and She's CRAZY".....
Ethan sits up and was like "Can I say that?"
*really confused look from me*
"To that girl, if she bothers me again.... can I just say She's My MOM and She's CRAZY!!!"
Yes, son..... that is totally fine. Say that!

Seriously I have the BEST SON EVER!

So its now been about 2 weeks since that happened. Its been bothering me a lot because I mean, kids are going to get bullied, its a sad truth, but it is the truth. But when they get bullied for what their parents have done. I honestly never expected that. So then I started thinking.......
Have I been to honest about my life? Was starting this blog really a good thing? Did I not think of how it could effect my kids?
That's what I have been struggling with for the last little while, and why I haven't posted.

But then I remembered reading all the responses that the Wasatch High School seniors wrote about me when I went and spoke to them about my life.
Here is what some of them said!

Mallory was amazing! Her story is incredible and eye opening. • She showed me a whole new world I didn’t know anything about. • I was so surprised to see her. I was expecting someone who looked unhappy and miserable. In place of my assumptions sat a person who was glowing with happiness. • If someone like Mallory who has faced agonizing struggles can find happiness, then I guess I can too. • I admire her so much. • Here she is, in the midst of fighting addiction, and she is one of the happiest people I’ve seen. She fights every single day. • I learned so much • Her brutal honesty was so refreshing • Mallory gave me hope for the future of everyone • Because of her, I can feel more empathy for my lost family members, and that really makes me happy • She showed me we can change • I felt completely comfortable asking her anything • Because of her, from now on I want to look back at what I’ve done with respect. • She made me realize that the people that truly care for you and love you will be the ones to get you through, and that is something that I’m going to hold on to for a long time. • I’ve only seen addiction from a distance, Mallory changed that. • She told us in a way that didn’t make us scared or sad but in a way that we just understood. She showed us her life. • Her story was just human. Humans make mistakes and that’s what she did. • Okay, I LOVED this presenter. • Mallory was SO GOOD. Her energy was amazing and made me feel more energetic and you can feel her passion for doing things like teaching and public speaking through her energy. • She was so open and honest with us and I really appreciated it. • Instead of just answering questions, which I love, she was there to share with us. It was so awesome to see her energy and want to show us she cares about us and wants us to know things. • Mallory Bringhurst, what a brave, enduring woman. • Mallory Bringhurst is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the opportunity to meet. Wow. I read her blog before she came, and it was so interesting and inspiring. • The most interesting thing I found from Jakob and Mallory’s presentations is both of them told us to stop trying to impress others. • I thought it was really cool how Mallory embraced her past self as someone she could learn from and be grateful for the experiences that she went through during her addiction. • I also like how she was able to find something to motivate her and pull her out of her addiction, which was seeing her husband sober. • Honestly, she left me speechless. She was so honest with us. Honestly though, what a beautiful person she is, like her inner beauty shines out and it just makes her glow.

Am I sorry I started this blog? NO
Am I worried that I'm too honest? NO
Am I worried how this could effect my kids? NO, because they know and understand NOW, how special they really are. They are worth fighting for and they are proud of Russ and I.

*the day our case was closed*
Ethan said this was his FAVORITE picture of the year! 

Oh and Ethan won 1st prize at his school for writing a poem about staying drug free...... TAKE THAT BULLY

7 comments:

  1. I love you Mal! You are awesomesauce!

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  2. Mal, you amaze me. Give Ethan a huge hug for me and tell him the ones who love him will always have his back. I want names. lol Love you so much and it's y favorite picture of the year. Gina

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  3. MAL!
    Can I see you this week? I come into town tomorrow and stay til Saturday. I’m reading all this and don’t know what to say. I want to say the perfect thing, ya know? I had no idea. And I’m so sorry. I really want to hug you. And catch up. Laugh loudly (we were amazing at that!). Hug you again. Swap some recovery stories (I know they aren’t the same type of recovery but I get how hard it is to keep going to therapy and how much easier it is to give up then push on.)
    I want to see you!
    Self discovery has to be one of the most rewarding, difficult achievements that change your look on life completely. You are amazing. You are awesome. The work you’re doing is only going to continue bringing you happiness. Don’t stop!
    And we need to reunite.
    I love you, Mal. Always have, always will. ❤️

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  4. Oh my gosh Mal, I'm sitting here in a public scene all teary eyed from your awesome story about your son. I'm sorry he went through that, but ya handled it like a champ! Glad you posted! I look forward to reading more! Happy Thanksgiving!

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  6. Beautiful! It's amazing to have gotten to see you then, and now. Even in your addiction you loved your kids very much and I hope they always know that! God bless your beautiful family Mal!

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